I've been realizing some things lately. I think too far ahead sometimes. And while this can be good--it can also damage my view of the present. My recent kick has been in the indulgence of making things pretty. Thank you, Design Sponge. Only my indulgence is more of the imaginary kind, the if-I-had-time-and-money kind. Still fun. Like window shopping in my brain. Anywho... a while back, my mom in law was showing me the inside of her old camper that she's not sure what to do with. She sort of wants to sell it, but is also still in love with it. She's mentioned how she wants to fix it up and use it for an office or something. Obviously, I would be intrigued with this plan. The camper is awesome and retro and I was pretty thrilled to be shown it. I immediately started imagining away the possibilites. I mentioned some of them to Diana--asking particularly if she planned to reupholster the seating. In response to this question Diana made her classic cartoon wide eyed face of horror at me. She wouldn't dream of changing it, in other words. She knew I didn't mean any harm in the question and we laughed it off as I realized that it didn't really need to be reupholstered-- I've just been so in love with the idea of reupholstering lately. (Those before and after project shots! Come on!)
So then I have this dream the other night where Ian and I are taking the camper out for a vacation-- and I realize that it's been reupholstered. I looked on with sadness and asked why it had been done. Ian mentioned how I'd wanted it to be changed and asked why I was so sad about it. I don't remember much else of the dream, probably because it was nonsense, but I was struck by that little instance when I woke up the next morning. It made me wonder if there's a deeper side to my desire for changing what I see. In other words-- what am I disregarding in thinking so much on the future and what could be? Or what might be possible someday? Am I ignoring what is good right now?
Perhaps I'm doing it a bit too brown. It's not as if this is all I think about. But it is something that occupies my mind. And I'm not going to pretend that furniture and housewares are the only things I'm looking ahead for. That would just be silly. I've come away and realized that I should rejoice in what's in front of me-- just as it is. I shouldn't always be looking ahead for the next best thing, crossing my fingers for when I'm finally done with school, or when I finally have funds and time to be more creative (as if that's even plausible) or whatever something it is. The camper might need a little love here and there for its not being used-- but it's charming and wonderful just as it is. I simply need to look at right now and be glad for it. And so I share this video.
4 comments:
I'm going to try this in front of the mirror tomorrow.
That's really insightful Sascha. I go through the same dilemma. I feel like I am inspired by these creative projects but don't understand why I receive the thoughts/the image/the color (whatever it is that inspires me) but don't have time to create it. I have TOO many! But I think HF is trying to teach me to slow down and be accepting of what I do have now. And you know what, being poor has really made me be more creative! Don't you think? But I still struggle with being in the moment. Thanks for sharing! don't be too hard on yourself either. As long as your feet are on the ground your head can still be in the clouds, just at the right times :)
I am optimistic that you will post another blog soon
Keep dreaming, I like your quote from Jeffrey R. Holland. Somedays, I look around and can't believe how many things are part of my life that I once only dreamed of. You writing is beautiful.
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